Fuck fuck fuck fuck double fuck. That forecast looks like it places it just south of Guam, and we know how forecasts go. I'm telling you. It's a force of nature that I can no longer deny or ignore. Maybe it's proof of a simulation, or call it bad luck, call it God, call it whatever you like, but coincidence doesn't cut it. It's a very shitty explanation.

Here's a current screenshot of the storm with Guam marked.